I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
