If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
