You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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