True but thats because hes a fetus.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
