Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I have already put on my inside pants.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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