...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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