Dude my mom stole all your condoms
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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