Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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