thus making me awesome and them whores
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have fence marks all over my body
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
