So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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