I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
