big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
