and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
