Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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