jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
