I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
