So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
