thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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