I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
