im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
