I feel like I'm in dance class right now
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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