Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
