Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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