I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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