I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
