No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
