17 year olds will be the death of me.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
