My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
