i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
