How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
