Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
