I want to stick my p in your. b.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
