Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
