I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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