Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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