oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
