it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
