IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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