I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
