One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my being single is dangerous.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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