he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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