ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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