she was so not down for the gang bang
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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