can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
