Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
