if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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