idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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