Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
