I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
