haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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