I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
