I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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