I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
