All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Moan for me like Helen Keller
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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