This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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